“I believe the day Einstein feared the most is when people circulate pictures of dead bodies of relatives on WhatsApp and get Thumbs Down and Crying smileys as response,” a quote by Ketan Waghmare. Isn't it heart-wrenching to have your loved ones moan over a death of you through a non-living medium and then quickly get distracted from the loss of you by other things which are happening all over the world? As technology advances, there is an exponential growth in the amount of data - in the form of news, real-time updates of people's lives, advertisements and more - available to the people who have access to social media. The horrifying thing is that it is also through social media where individuals these days find their worth, acceptance and comfort. That would imply that the place people would first turn to for advise and comfort would be in a virtual world of the internet.
Living in the world prevalent with technology would mean now dinner times between two or more persons would be having dishes between them and looking at a phone without communicating more than a sentence verbally until it's time to make a move. This is indeed saddening. As such, I would like to elaborate more on the consequences of being addicted to technology, suggest practical solutions individuals can adopt to play their part in defending themselves and their loved ones from catching the technological-addiction bug.
Although there is no topic sentence, I like how you added hooks by asking questions to attract the readers' attention. Also, I also like how you placed road maps at the end of your paragraph to make them wanna read what you are gonna write next. Keep up the good work Jerlyn !
ReplyDeletethank you for your feedback! You too yaa, keep up the good work! Lets work on getting better at this :)
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